101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged (Complete Guide for Couples)

Table of Contents

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting milestones in a relationship. But beyond the romance, sparkly ring, and celebration, engagement is also a promise to build a life together. Before saying “yes,” couples need to make sure they truly understand one another.

Many relationships face challenges after marriage because partners never had the “hard conversations” early on. Talking about love, money, family, faith, sex, and long-term goals helps you know if you’re really compatible.

This guide covers 101 deep and meaningful questions to ask before getting engaged. Use them as a checklist with your partner — some may spark laughter, others may challenge you, but all will help strengthen your foundation.

Section 1: Love & Relationship Foundation (Q1–Q20)

1. How do you define love?

2. What made you fall in love with me?

3. Do you believe love alone is enough to sustain a marriage?

4. What role does respect play in a relationship for you?

5. How do you handle stress in a relationship?

6. How do you like to show affection?

7. How do you prefer to receive affection?

8. What does commitment mean to you?

9. Do you believe in soulmates?

10. What does loyalty mean in a marriage?

11. How important is spending quality time together?

12. How much independence do you need in a relationship?

13. What would make you walk away from a marriage?

14. How do you define forgiveness in a relationship?

15. Do you believe people can change after marriage?

16. What role does honesty play in your life?

17. Do you think trust can always be rebuilt once broken?

18. How important is physical attraction to you?

19. Do you believe in unconditional love?

20. What kind of partner do you aspire to be?

Section 2: Communication & Conflict (Q21–Q35)

21. How do you prefer to resolve conflicts?

22. Do you raise your voice during arguments?

23. Do you need space or closeness after a fight?

24. How comfortable are you with discussing your feelings?

25. Do you believe in compromise, or should one partner take the lead?

26. What’s your love language? (Words, acts, gifts, time, touch)

27. How do you handle silent treatment?

28. Do you ever walk away during an argument?

29. How quickly do you forgive after a disagreement?

30. Do you believe couples should go to bed angry, or always resolve issues first?

31. How do you feel about counseling or therapy if we struggle?

32. Are you open to discussing sensitive issues openly (sex, money, family)?

33. Do you bottle up emotions or express them right away?

34. How do you deal with criticism?

35. Do you think couples should always be 100% honest, even if it hurts?

Section 3: Finances & Career Goals (Q36–Q50)

36. Do you believe in joint or separate bank accounts?

37. How do you feel about budgeting as a couple?

38. What’s your attitude toward saving money?

39. Do you like to spend money on experiences or possessions?

40. How do you feel about debt (student loans, credit cards, mortgages)?

41. How do you handle unexpected financial emergencies?

42. Should one partner manage the finances, or should it be shared?

43. How important is financial independence in marriage?

44. Would you support me financially if I lost my job?

45. Do you expect both partners to work after marriage?

46. How do you feel about stay-at-home parenting?

47. Do you believe in investing, and if so, in what?

48. How important is career success to you?

49. Would you relocate for work?

50. How do you balance career growth with family life?

Section 4: Family & In-Laws (Q51–Q65)

51. How close should we be with extended family?

52. How often should we visit each other’s parents?

53. How should we handle conflicts with in-laws?

54. If our parents disagree with our choices, whose opinion carries more weight?

55. Do you expect parents to live with us in the future?

56. How much influence should family have over our marriage decisions?

57. Are family traditions important to you?

58. Would you move closer to family if needed?

59. How do you feel about family vacations together?

60. Do you expect our families to be very involved in our children’s lives?

61. What family boundaries are non-negotiable for you?

62. How do you handle family members who don’t respect boundaries?

63. How important is it for our families to get along?

64. What would you do if a family member disapproved of our marriage?

65. Do you expect me to take sides in family disagreements?

Section 5: Children & Parenting (Q66–Q75)

66. Do you want children? If so, how many?

67. How soon after marriage would you like kids?

68. What values should we teach our children?

69. How do you feel about adoption?

70. How would we handle discipline?

71. Should kids attend public or private school?

72. Who should stay home if a child is sick?

73. How do you feel about childcare (daycare, nanny, relatives)?

74. Would you raise children in a particular faith?

75. How do you see our roles as parents (equal or divided responsibilities)?

Section 6: Faith, Culture & Traditions (Q76–Q85)

76. How important is religion in your daily life?

77. Do you want religion to play a role in our marriage?

78. Are you open to interfaith marriage?

79. How do you feel about attending religious services?

80. Should our children follow one faith or be free to choose?

81. How do you feel about religious differences between us?

82. How important are cultural traditions in your life?

83. Which holidays do you want to celebrate together?

84. How should we handle cultural or religious disagreements?

85. Would you convert or adjust your practices for marriage?

Section 7: Intimacy & Sex (Q86–Q95)

86. What does intimacy mean to you?

87. How important is sex in a marriage?

88. What are your expectations around sex frequency?

89. Do you believe in waiting until marriage?

90. How do you feel about physical affection in public?

91. How do you handle mismatched sex drives?

92. How do you feel about discussing sexual preferences?

93. What are your views on pornography in marriage?

94. How do you handle sexual rejection?

95. How important is emotional intimacy compared to physical intimacy?

Section 8: Lifestyle & Future Planning (Q96–Q101)

96. Where would you like to live long-term (city, countryside, abroad)?

97. Do you want to own a home or rent?

98. How important is traveling in your life?

99. Do you want pets?

100. What are your top three life goals?

101. Where do you see us in 10 years?

Conclusion

Engagement isn’t just about romance — it’s about making a lifelong decision. By asking these 101 questions before getting engaged, you and your partner can uncover values, expectations, and dreams that will shape your marriage.

Don’t rush through them — use these questions as ongoing conversations. They’ll help you grow closer, spot potential conflicts, and ensure that when you say “yes,” you’re stepping into a future built on trust, honesty, and understanding.

Pro Tip: Bookmark this guide and go through sections together, maybe one per week. Strong marriages are built on intentional conversations.

FAQs (SEO Boost with Schema Markup)

Q1: What are the most important questions to ask before getting engaged?
The most important ones focus on finances, children, communication, sex, and long-term goals. These areas often cause conflict if left unaddressed.

Q2: Should I talk about money before engagement?
Yes. Finances are one of the top reasons couples fight after marriage. Discuss income, savings, debt, and spending habits early.

Q3: How do I know if I’m ready to get engaged?
You’re ready if you and your partner have had honest conversations, share similar values, and feel emotionally, financially, and spiritually aligned.

Q4: How can these questions strengthen a relationship?
They promote openness, reveal expectations, and build a strong foundation for marriage by encouraging honest dialogue.